not everything is as it seems

Tell me has this happened to you:  You make a mistake, you do the wrong thing, you say the wrong thing and it's eating you up inside.  You feel terrible, you feel guilty, and you just can't get away from thinking about it.  Then someone walks up to you, maybe even your best friend, and asks, "hey, are you OK?"  Without hesitation we answer, "I'm fine"...... and yet we know on the inside we are not.

We are so afraid to let people in, or at least I know I am.  We are afraid to let people know we don't have it as "together" as they think we do.  We don't want people to know that on the inside we are a mess.  We don't want people to know that we have fallen flat on our face with a mistake.  We don't want to let people down.  We don't want people to know that we are struggling with ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We are such liars.

Maybe is simpler to smile, maybe it's more convenient, or maybe its just easier than trying to explain how you really feel.  Or maybe our deepest fears are true, that the person you tell is that shallow and will judge you by your mistake, or maybe they will tell someone, or maybe even tell the world through social media.

Or maybe they won't.

Maybe, just maybe, they do generally care about you and will simply just listen.

^6 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (Jas 5:16., NIV)

Confess your sins to each other.  I find this concept very intriguing.  The many times that someone has asked me "how you doing" and I come so close to letting the flood gates out and tell them how I really feel, or how I'm really doing, and yet the actual words that come out are:  "I'm fine, you?".  I begin to scream to myself "YOUR NOT FINE YOU IDIOT.... you could really use a friend, some prayer, someone to listen"......

What would it be like to share your deepest anxiety, your deepest shame, or your deepest wound, and to have someone say, "Oh, I'm so very sorry, how about I pray for you... right now", and for them to pray for you then walk away and you be rested assured that they haven't judged you, they are not disappointed in you, and you now know they genuinely care.

So the next time you ask someone how they are, remember the answer may not really be as it seems.

Here is the thing, if you and I are going to tell they truth then we need to be able to receive the truth in love.  Don't act shocked, don't judge them, and keep your mouth shut.  They need to trust you.  I need to trust you.

I am going to try to do better on not putting on a fake smile, but I know its going to be hard....

Chris