5 Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. 6 You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. 7 Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come upon you from your youth till now.” (2 Sa 19:5-7., NIV)
David was stuck in "what was" and not "what is". There is a stark difference between the two. Let me explain. Sometimes we get so hung up on the past that we cant see the present, which blinds us to the future. We sit around and talk about the good old days, the job we used to have, the way things used to be, and we remember it so well that it stops us from seeing today.
Absalom was David's son. At one point I believe he was a good man. In fact, Absalom defended his sister Tamar's honor, when their brother Amnon raped her. Not only did he rape her, but after he did he kicked her out and was angry at her. For two years Absalom waited on his father, David, to do justice, nothing happened. So Absalom took vengeance into his own hands, and killed his brother. This began the long spiral of evil that Absalom does. He disappears for years, then turns back up and works behind the scene "politicking" and overthrows David as king. David flees the kingdom and Absalom takes over. David finds himself once again running for his life.
When we arrive at 2 Samuel 18, David and his men learn of Absalom approaching, so they decide it's time to fight back. David is urged to stay behind for his own safety, and he reluctantly does. As Absalom is riding a mule he goes underneath a thick large oak tree and his hair gets caught. While he is hanging there, Joab plunges 3 javelins in him and kills him (2 Samuel 18:9-15). When word comes back to David about Absalom's death, David is overcome with grief because he is stuck on the Absalom that was and not the Absalom that is. There is a big difference between the Absalom who wanted to honor his sister and the Absalom who conspired against his father. His men where shocked at David's response, they anticipated David to be pleased instead he is overcome with grief.
Was = past
is = future
It is hard for us to move forward when we are stuck on what was and not what is.
There is nothing wrong with remembering the past with fondness. We can remember things that where. We can reflect in days gone by. Relationships that where. Friendships that happened. The job that we had. The neighborhood we lived in.
The problem happens when we are so caught up in the past that we can't live in the present.
Things change, and people change. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. We need to see it for what it is, what it can be, and not what it was.
live in the present, and not in the past.
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