Back in time…
Have you
ever sat and thought about if you could go back in time and change some
decisions you made which ones you would?
I bet you have, because we all pretty much have. Now, don’t misunderstand me I LOVE my
life. Love my wife, kids, career, and
everything about where I am and what I’m doing.
As I look back at the last, at my past, there are so many things that
haunt me. Different decisions I would
have made, different ways I would have handled things, changed things I said,
things I did, and etc.
I LOVE the Back
to the Future movies; they are the ones I could watch over and over. I’m not talking about going back and changing
things majorly like Marty did. I get and
understand that most of what has happened in my life has shaped and led me to
the point where I am now.
The ghosts
from my past they haunt me, they torment me.
I hold on the fact of what scripture tells me in 2 Corinthians 5:17:
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the
old has gone, the new has come!
I am in Christ, I am a new creation,
the old is gone, the new has come…..
And yet, the ghosts are still there.. I wished I could make them go away.
Maybe they are there to remind me of
how great grace is, maybe they are there to remind me of how far God has
brought me, maybe they are there because there is a lesson yet to be learned,
and maybe, just maybe it’s just me.
Maybe I’m the one who won’t let them go; maybe I am the one who hasn’t
forgiven me yet. I find myself
constantly looking over my shoulder looking out for these ghosts. They torment me in life and in my
dreams. Every time I think they are gone
they are back again. But then again they
are ghosts…. Or are they?
Yes, I definitely would have made some
better decisions, hence less ghosts.
I am who I am; I am what I am because
of everything that has happened up to this point in life. I keep trying to tell myself that, in hopes
it would help. Sometimes I think it
does, and sometimes not so much. Maybe
it is just my enemy playing mind games with me.
Isaiah says: 18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not
perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. (43:18-19, NIV)
I know what I am supposed to do, it
seems so simple “forget the former and don’t dwell on the past”, but my past
won’t leave me alone…. Or maybe I won’t leave my past alone. I’ve hurt people by foolish decisions, am I
alone in this…. I wish I could make amends
for my past.
As I am writing this my Creator has
reminded me that in my heart I want to make the amends and that I indeed CAN let
them go. That He has forgiven me. That the ghosts may still come, but they are
just ghosts, nothing more and nothing less.
He has come to make my joy complete.
I want complete Joy. I must
forgive myself. I can’t right all the
wrongs I’ve done.
May you forgive me if I have wronged
you; I know I don’t deserve it.
God wants you to know that if you
struggle with your past; the ghosts, the memories, and the hurt, that He has
come to set you free from it. He has
come that you may have life (John 10:10) and have it abundantly. You don’t need to go back and change your
past, God can and will give you a new future.
He wants to help you, will you let Him?
Chris
No comments:
Post a Comment