ghosts of the past

Back in time…

Have you ever sat and thought about if you could go back in time and change some decisions you made which ones you would?  I bet you have, because we all pretty much have.  Now, don’t misunderstand me I LOVE my life.  Love my wife, kids, career, and everything about where I am and what I’m doing.  As I look back at the last, at my past, there are so many things that haunt me.  Different decisions I would have made, different ways I would have handled things, changed things I said, things I did, and etc.

I LOVE the Back to the Future movies; they are the ones I could watch over and over.  I’m not talking about going back and changing things majorly like Marty did.  I get and understand that most of what has happened in my life has shaped and led me to the point where I am now. 

The ghosts from my past they haunt me, they torment me.  I hold on the fact of what scripture tells me in 2 Corinthians 5:17:

^17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

 

I am in Christ, I am a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come…..

 

And yet, the ghosts are still there..  I wished I could make them go away.

 

Maybe they are there to remind me of how great grace is, maybe they are there to remind me of how far God has brought me, maybe they are there because there is a lesson yet to be learned, and maybe, just maybe it’s just me.  Maybe I’m the one who won’t let them go; maybe I am the one who hasn’t forgiven me yet.  I find myself constantly looking over my shoulder looking out for these ghosts.  They torment me in life and in my dreams.  Every time I think they are gone they are back again.  But then again they are ghosts…. Or are they?

 

Yes, I definitely would have made some better decisions, hence less ghosts. 

 

I am who I am; I am what I am because of everything that has happened up to this point in life.  I keep trying to tell myself that, in hopes it would help.  Sometimes I think it does, and sometimes not so much.  Maybe it is just my enemy playing mind games with me.

 

Isaiah says: ^18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. ^19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.  (43:18-19, NIV)

 

I know what I am supposed to do, it seems so simple “forget the former and don’t dwell on the past”, but my past won’t leave me alone…. Or maybe I won’t leave my past alone.  I’ve hurt people by foolish decisions, am I alone in this….  I wish I could make amends for my past.

 

As I am writing this my Creator has reminded me that in my heart I want to make the amends and that I indeed CAN let them go.  That He has forgiven me.  That the ghosts may still come, but they are just ghosts, nothing more and nothing less.  He has come to make my joy complete.  I want complete Joy.  I must forgive myself.  I can’t right all the wrongs I’ve done. 

 

May you forgive me if I have wronged you; I know I don’t deserve it.

 

God wants you to know that if you struggle with your past; the ghosts, the memories, and the hurt, that He has come to set you free from it.  He has come that you may have life (John 10:10) and have it abundantly.  You don’t need to go back and change your past, God can and will give you a new future.  He wants to help you, will you let Him?

 

Chris

less noise

Only recently have I begun to understand and appreciate the Spiritual Discipline of “Silence and Solitude”.  The benefits of taking time away from everything and commune with our Creator, are far more than can be listed.

On a personal level I have Silence and Solitude in my daily life two ways.  One is that I take long runs 3-4 days a week that range from one hour to an hour and a half.  These runs benefit me several ways.  This is my time alone with God, away from the hourly grind of ministry, and away from everything.  My ear buds on I am tuning everything else out while listening to either Praise and worship music or my audio Bible.  If there is a day that I am not able to, I really feel stressed and overwhelmed the rest of the day.  God has given me my greatest sermons and most precious prayer time while on my runs.  The other thing I do several times a week, specifically on days I don’t run, is after I do my devotion and journal I spend 20 minutes in meditation.  I make sure phone is off, computer, etc. I close the blinds, lock my office door, and avoid all interruptions during my time of meditation.  I have an application on my phone called “relaxation sounds” that I listen to sometimes (sound of ocean, rain, wind, etc.) it really helps to relax and have solitude.  Sometimes I use nothing and truly have a time of silence.

 

Silence and Solitude is so difficult these days.  It is hard to get away from the noise of the world, and the technology that consumes our life.  We are people that are overworked, over stressed, and undisciplined.  It takes a lot of time, effort, and energy to ensure that we experience silence and solitude, however the benefits outweigh the effort of making sure we put it in our schedule.

 

He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10, NIV)

 

Chris L. Reese

Responsibility

 

This is not something that most like to talk about but today I want to give you some thoughts on stewardship.  I believe the overall importance of the spiritual discipline of stewardship teaches us mainly responsibility. It teaches us that we are responsible for every area of our life.  God has entrusted us with so much, and yet for the most part we as believers don't recognize that responsibility.  Jesus uses many parables and narratives to teach this discipline, the following is by far one of my personal favorites:

 

14 “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them.   15 To one he gave five talents a of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey.   16 The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more.   17 So also, the one with the two talents gained two more.   18 But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.   20 The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ 21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ 22 “The man with the two talents also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.’ 23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ 24 “Then the man who had received the one talent came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.   25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’ 26 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?   27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. 28 “‘Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents.   29 For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.  (Mt 25:14-29., NIV)

The overall lesson is wrapped up in verse 29, when you show you can be responsible with what you are given, God will enstrust you with more to be responsible for.  However, if you can't be responsible with what He has already entrusted you will don't expect Him to grant you with more until you do.

 

We have to learn to be responsible not only with our finances, but also with our time and the gifts God has given.  When it comes to finances and talents we are all gifted differently.  On the other hand, the one we all share in equally is time.  Each and every one of us are granted 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and 365 days a year, the hovering question is are you being fiscally responsible with it.  You can tithe your finances and still miss the point of stewardship if you fail at being responsible with all areas of life.

 

Chris

Video Blog

 

 

my first video blog attempt...

 

 

I know not what I do

Most of us can remember when we where children doing something we knew better than to do, and then being questioned by our parents:  why did you do that?  answer:  I don't know.

Why did you break the window, I don't know
Why did you not do your homework, I don't know
Why did you hit your sister, I don't know
Why did you break curfew, I don't know

The list could go on and on... my father used to say he should have named one of his children "I don't know" that we he could have known who did it.

We knew the rules, we broke the rules; however the real answer as to why we did is simple, I don't know why.  Maybe curiosity.  I've never really thought myself as a rebellious child.  I don't think I ever intentionally broke rules just to tick my parents off.  I really don't know why I did the things I did.

Things don't change much in adulthood.  I find myself Identifying with Paul when he wrote:

 ^15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (Ro 7:15., NIV)

I find everything within me wanting to do the things Christ wants me to do.  I want to be His representative, I want to be His role model.  I want to be a great pastor, leader, husband, father, friend, and brother.  But yet, I'm constantly not understanding myself.  I want to do the right things, I want to be that Godly leader, and yet I keep finding myself doing the things I get mad at others for.

Sounds like hypocrisy doesn't it.  I guess in a way it is.  The difference is, I feel bad about it.  Knowing the things I should do and not, and doing the things I shouldn't doesn't make us hypocrites, it makes us human.

What makes us hypocrites, is knowing the difference and NOT doing anything about it.

We know what we are supposed to do, we strive to do what we are supposed to do, but yet we still fail.  We know what the law says, we know what Christ says, but yet we still find ourselves doing what we know better than.  We are a work in progress, we are on a journey and on this journey we find our selves admitting this:

Hello, my name is Chris and I know not what I do...

attached to strings

^19 I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. ^20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. ^21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! ^22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. ^23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Ro 6:19-23., NIV)

Trapped

Controlled

tied up

forced

Confined

Enclosed

What our sin does to us.

Masters us, controls us, traps us.

^14 For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace. (Ro 6:14., NIV)

God's answer.  Grace.

I don't like the feeling of being trapped.  I don't like feeling controlled by sin.  Sometimes I don't like who I am.  I don't like feeling numb.  

When I'm in control it's not good; when God is in control I make progress.

Either attached to sin or attached to God, that's what we are.

Attached to sin leads to death, attached to God leads to life.

This is a daily process.  None of us are going to get it right daily.  We are all attached to strings.  Sometimes we have strings that are attached to sin that are pulling us in one direction, and God has the strings pulling us in the other direction.  We are in this battle every single day of our lives.  Somedays Sin wins and somedays God wins.  In this journey of life that we are on the idea is that each day we should be getting closer to God and each day we should find ourselves with God willing the battle more.  His strings lead to freedom.  Sounds strange doesn't it.  Our image of Him controlling us makes it seem like maybe He is our puppet master.  Not so, He cuts the strings that are attached to sin, and gives us freedom.  Freedom to follow Him.  You choose, you decide.

Every day that sin wins we die a little inside.  Every day that God wins we learn to live better, to live life to the fullest.

So who wins today?

Is it real or is it...........?

I read one writer recently who said, “Today in so many Christian circles I fear if the Holy Spirit left, most of what we do would continue.” 

I have wondered this often in 10 years of ministry.  The church has more finances, people, and meeting places than the church in the New Testament, but yet we have less power, much less power.  Now I realize that I am making a hugely unfair blanket statement, and that there are Protestant Bible believing churches that God’s Spirit is moving in a mighty way.  However, for the most part our churches are lacking in that power. 

So then the question is why?  We know God is the same God that He has always been, because He is eternal.  We know Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  We know that He promised us that He had to leave so that His Spirit could come along side us.  Obviously then the problem doesn’t lie with God, therefore it must lie with us.

¹⁶ And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever; (John 14:16)

 Of course we know who the “Comforter” is, the Holy Spirit (παράκλητος [parakletos /par·ak·lay·tos/]), and then in verse 17 of John referred to as “Spirit” of truth (πνεῦμα [pneuma /pnyoo·mah/]).  The first reference refers to the Spirit as someone who “comes along side of”, and the second refers to “a movement of air” or to put it simply “a movement”.  I get that, I understand that.  When you think of the Spirit working we understand Him as “moving” or a spiritual “movement”.

Finally getting to my point, this is that the church of today has tried to replicate the movement of God through emotions.   Think about it this way; when you are in a service and the Spirit is moving you feel Him, you just know it is Him.  The Spirit moving is like a breath of fresh air rushing through your body and the congregation.  Churches today have tried to replicate that through toying with our emotions.  They sing a song to try to pull on our heart strings, some may use a sad story or illustration, or do whatever it takes to force a movement.

Don’t misunderstand me.  I firmly believe God’s Spirit can use a song, an illustration, and a good sermon, but it has to come naturally through Him and not us forcing the movement.

 

Chris