I have this feeling inside, I have this feeling I can't hide, and I have this excitement for the ride.
I feel giddy, want to know why...
I feel like a Spiritual Breakthrough is on the horizon. I don't know when or where, but it's there. God is working on something in me and through me. I can't explain it or contain it. I have really got to stop with the rhymes....
I have been having visions and dreams. Seeing things with such clarity. Seeing God work some tremendous things. Seeing an excitement in the Gospel that I haven't seen in a while. Feeling excited about things myself that I haven't felt in awhile.
"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you. And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising. Lift up your eyes all around, and see; they all gather together, they come to you; your sons shall come from afar, and your daughters shall be carried on the hip. Then you shall see and be radiant; your heart shall thrill and exult, because the abundance of the sea shall be turned to you, the wealth of the nations shall come to you. ... " (Isaiah 60:1-ff, ESV)
I have been praying "God, you got me here, so now what?", He has been flooding my mind with plans, projects, and people. It's hard to wrap my head around all of it. It's hard to decipher what to work on first, what is most important, and how soon to move on it. I am prayerfully making models, notes, and flow charts. I sit back and think to myself, "How?" or "Can I really do this?"
There is such a sense of excitement, urgency, and nervousness. You pray and the desire is for God to move in a mighty way. Then when the time is coming, or feels like is coming for the "Spiritual Breakthrough" that you have been praying for the anxiousness comes. You start feeling like maybe I have bitten off more than I can chew, maybe God picked the wrong person to do this, and/or I'm not talented or good enough to do this.
Then I remind myself that I am just a vessel. That it's actually God working in me and through me to accomplish anything. All I am doing is allowing Him to use me.
I feel like I'm on the edge of a break through, one like I have never had before. I have had some breakthroughs in the past. There was the DNow weekend with my GBBC youth where God did some amazing things in those students lives over a 48 hour period. Rededication, salvation, and rekindled. I have seen God do some amazing things. This seems bigger, much much bigger, and it makes me nervous. It's like everything that has happened in ministry and life up to this point is leading up to this moment, or this movement. Maybe that is what it is... a movement. As I am typing this I am reminded that I have been praying for Pole Creek, a church in my community, would experience a movement of God. Maybe God is doing that in our community and in our church.
A movement, that is what I feel and that is what I want to be part of. A movement of God, like nothing we have experienced before. We need more than a revival, or a renewel. We need a movement of God.
I am piecing this together, "Spiritual Breakthrough of a Movement". I don't know what it looks like, how it would be, or what our part of it is, but I sense and feel it coming.
I had someone say this to me yesterday, "You are the best thing that has happened to our church for awhile, you are the breath of fresh air I feel we have needed..."
I don't feel like I am. It was a huge compliment, but yet also made me feel uneasy, like a big weight was added called "fear of failure". I know God has placed me where I am, I know it with all of my being. I don't know that I would go has far as the "best in awhile", but I would for sure say I have been placed there for "such a time as this".
So, to wrap this up. I sense God is on the verge of something big, something wonderful, and something unbelievable. I want to be part of it, I want my church to be part of it, and I want you to be part of it. The question is, do you?
Chris
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