unilateral forgiveness

^13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13, NIV)

 

^32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

 

I have been in the process of working through forgiving someone from a very personal wrong that was done to me.  It has been a long painstaking process.  It has caused me to have to bring up memories that are neither pleasant or fun to have to recall.  The bigger difficulty of the situation is that the person who wronged me is dead and gone, so the question goes how do I confront and deal with someone who has wronged me in the past now that they are gone.  How do I get closure, and how do I get past it.  Forgiveness.

Forgiveness means to release from an obligation, or to release from a wrong that was incurred.  Forgiveness is not easy to give and sometimes is not easy to receive.  When you forgive you are not approving the action, you are not repressing the action, but you are releasing someone them and yourself from the offense that was done.  It is in essence hitting the delete button.

 So I am working on what is known as “unilateral forgiveness”.  Unilateral forgiveness is forgiving someone who has either not offered an apology for the wrong doing or is unable to offer the apology (such as in death or no point of contact). 

 When Jesus was on the cross He offered humanity unilateral forgiveness: 

^4 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NIV).

 We didn’t ask for it, He just gave it, out of His own freewill.

 When you and I offer forgiveness to someone who has neither offered the apology or can give it, we are not only letting them go from it, but we are also letting ourselves go from having to carry the anger, bitterness, and sadness from the wrong that occurred.  When someone wrongs us like the way I was, the cut runs deep and it seems like I just can’t forgive them or that they don’t deserve it.  The pain will probably always be there, however I allow the pain to worsen when I still allow them to control me.  I am in the process of allowing myself to release this person from the debt I feel they owe me, because there is no way I will ever get the apology or the justice I feel I deserve.

 So I find myself asking this question, “what do I do now?”  I have a choice in front of me I can choose to continue to allow them to control me even though they are dead, or I can release them and essence release myself so that I may move on.  I choose life, I choose to move on.  It is not going to be easy, but I must continue to move and grow.  With God’s help I know I can, because He has a plan.

Choices?

 



Israel had it all.  God had provided everything they needed.  He provided them the best of the best.  God provided everything they needed to perfection to produce good fruit for Him.  He provided so much for them, and yet He asks in Isaiah 5:4

^“4 What more could have been done for my vineyard than I have done for it? When I looked for good grapes, why did it yield only bad?”

God laid it all out there for them, and the sad thing was they acted with disobedience.  God then carefully lays out His case in Isaiah 5:8-23 as to why He would bring destruction upon them.

Isaiah’s response was totally different.  Isaiah was at a trying time in his life and ministry, the king had died and they were unsure times (6:1).  God enables him to see God for all of His glory.  Isaiah recognizes his own wickedness: 

^5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6:5)

 

Isaiah is given the same opportunity and chance as Israel to serve the Lord.  His response is not disobedience, but rather strict obedience:

 ^8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8).

 

The same holds true today.  God gives us ample opportunity to serve Him, He provides everything we need all we have to do is respond as Isaiah did, or respond as the disciples did when Jesus said, “Follow Me”.

 

^19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” ^20 At once they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4:19)

 

God loves you and I so much that He leaves the choosing to us.  You can choose to now follow (as Israel did) or you can choose to follow (as Isaiah and disciples did), God will not force you to follow Him or Serve Him.  It's totally up to you to decides, so what is it going to be?

 

Chris

if you don't ask you will never know

^10 They kept the matter to themselves, discussing what “rising from the dead” meant. (9:10)

 

^32 But they did not understand what he meant and were afraid to ask him about it. (9:32)

 

These were amazing times but also trying times for the disciples.  In the beginning of chapter 9 you have the transfiguration of Jesus, where Peter, James, and John got to see Jesus in His glorified form chatting it up with Moses and Elijah.  They where amazed, as you can imagine, by this, but as they where leaving Jesus told them not to discuss it until He rose from the dead.  That is where chapter 9 verse 10 falls in.  They absolutely kept it to themselves, but they also had no idea as to what Jesus was referring to.  Fast forward a little bit in chapter 9, Jesus heals a possessed boy that the other disciples could not, they then pass through Galilee as quietly as possible because He wanted some time to teach His disciples.  Then comes this part of the narrative:

 

^31 because he was teaching his disciples. He said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise.” ^32 But they did not understand what he meant and were afraid to ask him about it.  (9:31-32)

 

He flat out tells them what is going to happen, and they fail the test.  So you ask “what was the test”…… the test was would they ask Him about what they did not understand.  They failed, because they where “afraid”.  Afraid?  Yes, afraid.  We think: how in the world could they be afraid.

 

We are always afraid to ask questions.  We won’t raise our hands in class to ask questions because we are afraid.  We won’t ask our parents questions because we are afraid.  We won’t ask our friends questions because we are afraid.  Why are we so afraid.  We are afraid because we don’t know all the answers and we are too prideful to admit it.  We are afraid because we don’t want to ask and look like an idiot.  We are afraid because of appearance, ignorance, and shyness.  And we certainly can’t let Jesus know that we don’t know everything, we should never question Him about anything… oh the horror if we did…. Somewhere along the line of Christianity we bought into the lie that we shouldn’t question any questions.  Just sit there, smile, and act like everything is ok and you understand everything.

 

Here is the thing.  Jesus knows already that you don’t know, so just admit to Him you don’t and allow Him to teach you.  That is what He wanted the disciples to do, and that is what He is wanting you and I to do today.  If you don’t understand it…. Ask.   Ask Him, ask a mentor, ask your pastor, ask your teacher, ask a trusted friend, just please ask someone. 

 

Don’t be afraid….. ask.

Stop talking behind my back

Moses and His leadership abilities have always astounded me.  Every time I think I cannot possibly be anymore impressed by something He did, another jumps out at me.  I was reading Numbers 12 this morning and was reminded of this scenario:  Aaron and Miriam where talking behind Moses' back about him and his leadership, and God calls them out for it.  God pulls them and Moses together.  God really chastises them for it and leaves them, when He leaves Miriam is covered in leprosy as punishment for her sin.  Aaron turns to Moses and pleads on her behalf.  Moses says this:

^13 So Moses cried out to the Lord, “O God, please heal her!” (Nu 12:13., NIV)

I have to be honest here, that probably would not have been my first response.  I have no tolerance for someone to do underhanded talking behind backs spreading rumors.

It most likely would have been something like, "no she deserves this, and so do you" or "karma is great", or maybe wouldn't have said anything but just smirked a little. 

Now, God didn't heal her right away, she and Aaron had to learn a lesson, but he did seven days later, and it's simply because Moses was humble enough to pray on behalf of his "enemy" at that moment.

The number of times in our lives when someone close to us, be it a family member, friend, or coworker, says something negative about us is unbelievable.  You and I cannot have a possible clue about what people are saying about us on a daily basis.  The majority of it is probably not good.  We may have even walked in right as someone said something and overheard it.  It hurts when those close to us, those we trusted, and those we confide in betray that trust.  We want vengeance.  We want them to suffer for their sins against us.

Why didn't Moses feel that way?  Maybe he did, but also maybe he didn't react upon it.  He had grace, he had humility, and he had compassion.  There was no hesitation in his plea, there was no pause in his plead, and there was no harboring of unforgiveness in his actions.

I don't know if I could do that.  I wish I could.  I want to.  However, deep down inside I just don't know.  I would love with everything within me to say "absolutely I would respond the exact same way as Moses", but I know I'm not there.  I think I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

One of the greatest signs of a great leader was Moses was more concerned about the one's he was leading than his precious ego getting bruised.

Chris

this means war

Spiritual Warfare.

 

I have been reading the book  “The Invisible War, What every believer needs to know about Satan, Demons, and Spiritual Warfare”, It was a required reading for a class I am taking right now.  It couldn’t have come at a better time.  I have been dealing with the battle of darkness, and it can be very uneasy, if not quite frightening at times.

 

Something the author said (Chip Ingrram) said on p.61 really stuck with me as well:  "That means that when we fight, we're not trying to win.  We're enforcing the victory that Jesus has already secured.  In His power, we are invincible."

 

My eyes have been enlightened lately as to the matter of spiritual warfare.  I have always believed it, however haven’t really experienced it much, until recently.

 

¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12, NIV)

 

I have heard stories of the struggle, but now I KNOW the struggle.  I know of nightmares, voices, and evil lurking trying to discourage the great work the Master is trying to do in our community and church.

 

Two nights ago I had a nightmare that was so real that I woke up screaming “get away from me Satan”, though I don’t remember the specifics of it what I do remember I would rather not.  The thing I can remember was the eerie presence of evil, and wanting to get as far away from it as I could.  My wife asked me if I remembered any of the dream because obviously I woke her up as well.

 

The thing I have learned to remind myself, as pointed out in the book, is the victory has already been won.  The enemies game plan is to destroy individual believers, the unity of the family, and the integrity of the church.  The enemy will use whatever means possible to accomplish this.  That being said you and I have to be on our guard individually, for our families, and our churches.  God has won the victory, but we have to be on our guard.

 

I asked my deacons last month in our meeting to pray for me because of this battle that has been raging, I can feel the strength of their prayers.  Thank you men, keep it up!!

 

Chris L. Reese

ghosts of the past

Back in time…

Have you ever sat and thought about if you could go back in time and change some decisions you made which ones you would?  I bet you have, because we all pretty much have.  Now, don’t misunderstand me I LOVE my life.  Love my wife, kids, career, and everything about where I am and what I’m doing.  As I look back at the last, at my past, there are so many things that haunt me.  Different decisions I would have made, different ways I would have handled things, changed things I said, things I did, and etc.

I LOVE the Back to the Future movies; they are the ones I could watch over and over.  I’m not talking about going back and changing things majorly like Marty did.  I get and understand that most of what has happened in my life has shaped and led me to the point where I am now. 

The ghosts from my past they haunt me, they torment me.  I hold on the fact of what scripture tells me in 2 Corinthians 5:17:

^17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

 

I am in Christ, I am a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come…..

 

And yet, the ghosts are still there..  I wished I could make them go away.

 

Maybe they are there to remind me of how great grace is, maybe they are there to remind me of how far God has brought me, maybe they are there because there is a lesson yet to be learned, and maybe, just maybe it’s just me.  Maybe I’m the one who won’t let them go; maybe I am the one who hasn’t forgiven me yet.  I find myself constantly looking over my shoulder looking out for these ghosts.  They torment me in life and in my dreams.  Every time I think they are gone they are back again.  But then again they are ghosts…. Or are they?

 

Yes, I definitely would have made some better decisions, hence less ghosts. 

 

I am who I am; I am what I am because of everything that has happened up to this point in life.  I keep trying to tell myself that, in hopes it would help.  Sometimes I think it does, and sometimes not so much.  Maybe it is just my enemy playing mind games with me.

 

Isaiah says: ^18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. ^19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.  (43:18-19, NIV)

 

I know what I am supposed to do, it seems so simple “forget the former and don’t dwell on the past”, but my past won’t leave me alone…. Or maybe I won’t leave my past alone.  I’ve hurt people by foolish decisions, am I alone in this….  I wish I could make amends for my past.

 

As I am writing this my Creator has reminded me that in my heart I want to make the amends and that I indeed CAN let them go.  That He has forgiven me.  That the ghosts may still come, but they are just ghosts, nothing more and nothing less.  He has come to make my joy complete.  I want complete Joy.  I must forgive myself.  I can’t right all the wrongs I’ve done. 

 

May you forgive me if I have wronged you; I know I don’t deserve it.

 

God wants you to know that if you struggle with your past; the ghosts, the memories, and the hurt, that He has come to set you free from it.  He has come that you may have life (John 10:10) and have it abundantly.  You don’t need to go back and change your past, God can and will give you a new future.  He wants to help you, will you let Him?

 

Chris

less noise

Only recently have I begun to understand and appreciate the Spiritual Discipline of “Silence and Solitude”.  The benefits of taking time away from everything and commune with our Creator, are far more than can be listed.

On a personal level I have Silence and Solitude in my daily life two ways.  One is that I take long runs 3-4 days a week that range from one hour to an hour and a half.  These runs benefit me several ways.  This is my time alone with God, away from the hourly grind of ministry, and away from everything.  My ear buds on I am tuning everything else out while listening to either Praise and worship music or my audio Bible.  If there is a day that I am not able to, I really feel stressed and overwhelmed the rest of the day.  God has given me my greatest sermons and most precious prayer time while on my runs.  The other thing I do several times a week, specifically on days I don’t run, is after I do my devotion and journal I spend 20 minutes in meditation.  I make sure phone is off, computer, etc. I close the blinds, lock my office door, and avoid all interruptions during my time of meditation.  I have an application on my phone called “relaxation sounds” that I listen to sometimes (sound of ocean, rain, wind, etc.) it really helps to relax and have solitude.  Sometimes I use nothing and truly have a time of silence.

 

Silence and Solitude is so difficult these days.  It is hard to get away from the noise of the world, and the technology that consumes our life.  We are people that are overworked, over stressed, and undisciplined.  It takes a lot of time, effort, and energy to ensure that we experience silence and solitude, however the benefits outweigh the effort of making sure we put it in our schedule.

 

He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10, NIV)

 

Chris L. Reese