Friendship?

What does it mean to be a friend?

Webster's Dictionary defines a friend as, "one attached to another by affection or esteem" and "a favored companion".

But I think it goes way beyond that....

How would you define a "friend"?  What is the difference between a "friend" and a "true friend"?  Why is it we now have to distinguish between a "friend" and a "true friend"?

Would you agree that a "true friend" is hard to come by?  I think so....  Experience has taught you and I that.

As I am thinking of "true friendship" and how we should relate that Biblically, because that is our standard, there are a set of friends that comes to mind:  Jonathon and David.

Three things that I believe Biblically we should be as a "true friend":

1. A true friend will warn you of impending danger. In 1 Samuel 19:2, Jonathon runs to tell David to tell him that his father (Saul) is trying to kill him.  As a "true friend" we should always be warning of impending danger, if you know its coming, if you know someone is intentionally trying to harm them, let them know.
2. A true friend will take up for you.  In 1 Samuel 19:4, Jonathon goes to his father and King (Saul), and pretty much calls him to the carpet and reminds him that David is a good guy and has done nothing wrong.  As a "true friend" we should take up for our friends.  It sickens me when someone who calls us as friend will be the first one's to throw us "under the bus" so to speak.  Regardless of what people think, say, or do; we should never under any circumstances not take up for a friend.  Its just wrong.
3. A true friend will always watch out for you.  In 1 Samuel 19:7, Jonathon would tell everything he found out that Saul (his father) was planning to do, hence Jonathon was always keeping a watchful eye out for his friend David.  As a "true friend" we should be watching the "backs" of a friend.  Jonathon went against his own father to look out for his friend.  Why?  because it was the right thing to do.

As a "true friend" you will not ALWAYS see eye to eye, however as a "true friend" you can look past the differences.  Life experience has showed me over the past 20+ years about what it is to really be a friend.  I have had many very hard trying times in life, through those trying times I have learned to tell the difference between a "true friend" and a "friend". 

A "true friend" can speak frankly and clearly, will tell you the truth (and do it with compassion and love).  We may not always like what we hear when they tell us, but done with the right attitude and tone it can be recieved well, and with no hard feelings.  You respect a "true friend" and you value their input.

Do you know what it is to make valuable true lasting friendships?  Do you know what it takes?  Do we even know how?  Do we even want to?  How important is it?  Why is it important?

Everyone needs someone.  Jesus had the three:  Peter, James, John.  These guys where the ones Jesus would pull to the side, these are the ones that Jesus spent "a little extra time with", and these are the ones that got to see some really cool stuff that no one else did {the transfiguration (Luke 9:28-35), raising of Jarius' daughter from the dead(Mark 5:21-43)}.  So if Jesus had an inner circle of "true friends", then I would venture to say we need them too.

I am thankful to have developed a few "true friends", you know who you are.  I am so thankful for you.  I am thankful that I can talk to you about anything, anywhere, and anytime.  It is a true comfort.  I value my friendships and cherish them.  They are what makes this life, here and now, easier to deal with.  Friends that have been there through divorce, the loss of a child, journey through college, supportive of my calling to ministry, birth of my girls, death of my grammy, personal conflicts, suicide of a friend.... through it all I have had my "true friends".  Some of them have been there through this whole journey, some half, and some have just joined my inner circle, regardless I love you all.  I hope I am as good as a friend to you as you are to me.

ps. mileage/distance doesn't change the status of a "true friend" if you find one, hold on to them.


Chris.



Feel free to comment on what your thoughts/definition of a "true friend" is, would love to hear it....